total disclaimer: this is gonna be partially unstructured/first draft type writing. expect spelling mistakes and for things to not be worded/structed as perfectly as they could be
hello! i'm kaitlyn, and i've been on-and-off making music for about five years at this point.
i wanted to write this blog to try and address two "problems" that i have when it comes to making music:
i've never been consistent
i've never been able to let go
maybe the first one is self explanatory. making music has never just been a part of my routine. i've never practiced consistently, though i'll come back to it every once in a while, and make a song that i think kinda goes hard
the second point though makes the first more of a problem imo. music is something i love. i often view it as one of the primary "things" in my life. and at times, making music feels like the one thing i *need* to do with my life.
of course, i feel like this is one of the most first-world problems that exists. "ooo i'm having a hard time getting into my hobby" but like idk. its something i want to commit to, and hopefully this blog can be a way of trying to address this issue.
why a blog then?
i've never been good at releasing music. at the time of writing, i've got one album up on streaming services, and i kind of hate it most times. when i started my youtube channel, i had this rule i set for myself, that every song on there would have a animated/visual aspect. i figured, if i value the song enough to put it out into the world, it should be obvious that i put care into it. it would make it feel polished or something.
point is, at times i feel like what i put out into the world has to be perfect. and i think that's hurt the process. another one of the things i often think is the opposite, that i can't open a project file and expect something to be good, or care about releasing it, or else it won't only be unenjoyable, i just won't make anything good.
but i can never get over this feeling of wanting something "tangible," something to show for my efforts.
i feel like a blog strikes this balance. this is somethign tangible i can work on primarily for myself, but also for anyone who's interested in this process. or maybe it's just that the pressure of writing for some reader, imaginary or otherwise, is gonna help me feel accountable, and encourage me to work on this.
hopefully this'll help me improve, but we'll see :)
so what are you working on now?
hahaha omg thank you for asking! i'm actually working on this song right now. it's about a specific memory of this trip i took with my parents to an idyllic city in british columbia.
(hopefully ^ that ^ works, if not you can download the song if you wish sorry aaaaa)
god i haven't really worked on this song in almost a month, but i hope to get back into it.